Road Block

A cool breeze ran across the hill as they lowered the casket into the half-thawed earth.  The single marble headstone with two names expressed a story of love, loss, and the soon to come unforeseen and sorrowful effects.  It had taken a while to come to an agreement as to where Charles would be buried.  After all, they could not ask his wife, Anna.  She was in the hospital and still unresponsive.

It was horrific to put it lightly.  A young couple with so many years left to live and the world at their fingertips.   They never saw it coming.  Who would have, right?

It wasn’t one of those typical rainy spring nights; in fact it hadn’t rained in days.  The three children were all in their pajamas and settling down for a movie with the babysitter.  Charles and Anna had gone out to enjoy a quiet dinner in celebration of Charles’ recent promotion at work.  They never made it to the restaurant…
In just a few seconds the lives of Charles, Anna, their children and countless friends and family would be changed forever; leaving more unfinished business and unanswered questions that Charles and Anna would never again be able to answer.  State troopers said the cause of the accident was a deer in the road that Charles had attempted unsuccessfully to avoid.  Charles was pronounced dead at the scene.  Anna had suffered severe brain injuries and doctors stated that she would never regain consciousness….so what next?

Kayla just sat there silently as her grandmother gave her the solemn news.  At 13 she could never have imagined her life becoming so difficult.  She worried for her sisters.  They would remain with her no matter where they ended up living, right?  What was going to happen to her home? What about the money her parents told her they would put into a college account for her?

All Emma could do was cry.  She just wanted her mommy.   All of the recent arguing around her was also beginning to take its toll on Emma’s fragile little mind. “Why are they all yelling sissy?” she asked Kayla.  She was referring to the arguments that had ensued after the funeral amongst their aunts and uncles.  Emma always depended on her big sister to have all the answers.  Kayla herself was still too young to understand all the legalities of it. All she knew was how she felt; lost.  
The baby was oblivious to what was happening around her. 

Indeed, Madison was a mere three months old at the time of her parents’ accident.  She would have no memories of them, aside from a few pictures.  Kayla considered her baby sister to be the lucky one; so blissfully unaware of the storm that was churning angrily around them.  
Kayla closed her eyes and tried to imagine that it all was just a dream and when she awoke her life would be back to normal.  But this was no dream.  She shoved as much of her clothes as she could into the small suitcase and carefully placed a picture of her family on top. Quietly she followed the case worker through the door and down the steps.    As she pulled at the door handle, Kayla turned her head to take one last look at the house.  A mocking reminder of the life that she once had; now ripped abruptly from her grasp.  Why hadn’t they taken the time to sit down with a lawyer? A question that would forever haunt Kayla and her sisters…

Charles did not have a Health Care Directive stating his wishes as to what should be done with his body after death.  Without this, several issues surrounding his death arose that caused tempers to flare and arguments to ensue….

Charles wanted to be an organ donor, yet he had not even found the time to note that on his license.  Because he had no Health Care Directive or record with the DMV that he wished to donate organs, there was nothing that could be done, much to Charles’ sister’s and brother’s dismay.  There were so many people whose lives could have been changed for the better…

Charles’ brother and sister fought about whether or not he would be cremated or buried.  Of course Charles brother argued that cremation would be less expensive, yet his sister knew that Charles would have requested to be buried next to his wife.  Once it was settled that he was to be buried, arrangements were further halted due to disagreements about the location where Charles’ body would be interred.  Because Anna was incapacitated, she was unable to make this decision as well. 

The family was torn about where Charles’ body would be buried because his father as well as his grandparents had been laid to rest in a cemetery two states away, yet all of Charles’ and Anna’s family lived in Minnesota and preferred they be interred in a local cemetery.  After a few days an agreement was made to have Charles buried at the family plot in Nebraska.  The decisions did not sit well with some family members.  It was the first of many disagreements to come…

Anna also never had a Power of Attorney or a Healthcare Directive prepared, thus a conservatorship and guardianship had to be set up on her behalf.  A Power of Attorney and Healthcare Directive could have been drawn up appointing an agent to act on Anna’s behalf in the event of her incapacitation.  She could have assigned people she trusted to take care and make decisions about her financial matters and healthcare matters.  It would have been someone that she knew well, who knew what decisions she would have wanted made on her behalf, and who she trusted with such responsibilities.

Instead, Anna’s two sister’s began to fight bitterly as to whom should be the one to make these decisions.  Since an amicable agreement could not be reached, the court appointed an independent conservator and guardian, which in turn became quite costly. This independent person, who had never met Anna and was paid by her estate, made all of Anna’s healthcare decisions and paid bills on Anna’s behalf for four years until her death.

Anna had always told her sisters that should something happen to her that put her on life support, she wanted them to “pull the plug”.  They always joked about who would have the honors of doing it.  Now it was no longer comical.  The room was eerily silent as they stood over her bed; watching the ventilator slowly rise up and down.  There were no formal instructions as to what they needed to do. 

As Anna lay in the hospital bed, unable to share her feelings on what should be done, her mother and sisters were helpless.  Anna had no one to make her healthcare decisions on her behalf and of course the only thing the family could agree on was to disagree.  Had Anna worked up a Healthcare Directive, also known as a Living Will, with her lawyer, she would still have maintained a voice in her healthcare decisions and the battle her family was going through would never have begun.

As the family battle over Anna’s vegetative state continued on, four years slowly passed as Anna’s family awaited closure.  Meanwhile, a very large chunk of Anna’s estate was withheld from the care and support of her children and instead spent on Anna’s healthcare costs incurred to continue to keep her alive. 

Had Anna and Charles appointed a temporary guardian then their three children would not have gone with Child Protective Services immediately after the fatal accident.  They would have instead, gone with Charles’ mother, the person that Anna and Charles deemed best to care for their children should an emergency such as this occur.  Charles’ mother could have been appointed as a Temporary Guardian (often times the same person appointed as the Legal Guardian) for their children.  The children had already been through so much pain.  Why should they have to suffer even more by being taken away by people that they do not even know?

All of the fighting and chaos surrounding who should legally take care for Anna and Charles’ children could have and would have been avoided had Anna and Charles taken the time to appoint a legal guardian in their Last Will & Testament.

Because Anna and Charles had not taken the time to complete a Last Will & Testament Anna and Charles’ children were forced to suffer through a nasty family feud. Kayla, Emma and Madison spent their days in a foster home awaiting a judge’s decision as to whom would take custody of them.  Charles and Anna had planned on Charles’ mother taking custody of the kids in the event of Charles’ and Anna’s death.  Charles and Anna both felt very strongly about the decision for custody and knew that Charles’ mother was the best choice. 

They had plans on paying off their mortgage with their life insurance and having Charles’ mother move into their house to take care of the children.  That way she would have a better place to live and the children would still be in a familiar setting with their friends and family around them.

Instead, due to Charles’ mothers’ living situation (a small apartment in a not so nice part of town) the judge felt that it was not in the children’s best interest to live with her.  If fact, after weighing all of the custody options the best that he could, the judge decided on awarding guardianship to Anna’s sister, Laurie.  The judge based his decision on the fact that Laurie had a good career, a large home and had no children of her own.  Unfortunately, Laurie would have been Charles and Anna’s last choice.  Although Laurie loved the kids, Laurie was not exactly the nurturing motherly type.  In addition, Laurie kept herself distant from the family and the kids in turn did not have access to relatives.  In contrast to what Charles and Anna would have desired, Laurie did not attend family holidays for Charles’ and Anna’s families, rather Laurie took the girls to spend holidays with her husband’s family in Tennessee.

Had Anna and Charles written a Last Will & Testament, they could have nominated who Anna and Charles wanted to raise Kayla, Emma and Madison and what their wishes were as far as making sure that their children’s normal church, family, school and holiday routines were carried out by their children’s guardian.

Since there was no Last Will & Testament stating Charles and Anna’s wishes, the children were not present at family functions and no longer attended the church that their parents brought them to every Sunday.   Charles’ mother was heartbroken.  She would never see her beloved grandchildren again. 

Anna had no Last Will & Testament or Trust drawn up, therefore, her estate went through the process of Probate.   Probate is the process in which the estate of the deceased is administered by an executor or personal representative who is then responsible for making sure the deceased person’s debts are paid, and property is sold or distributed.  This process not only ended up taking over a year to complete, but also cost a good chunk of money in court fees, attorney fees and administration costs. 

Because Charles and Anna had no Last Will & Testament or Trust directing their life insurance proceeds to be applied to Charles and Anna’s mortgage, not only was Charles and Anna’s home lost to foreclosure, but all of Anna and Charles’ sentimental tangible property went through probate court as well.

In Anna’s Jewelry box sat several pieces of her grandmother’s fine jewelry, including her great grandmother’s rings.  Anna had always imagined that the sentimental jewelry would be split among her three daughters to keep safe and pass down from generation to generation.

Family jewelry that should have gone to Kayla and sisters was argued about and eventually after going to court, was sold to pay for court costs.  In fact, the family watched in horror as all of the family heirlooms and antiques were put up and sold at auction because the Personal Representative believed that the proceeds from selling the heirlooms and antiques would be better suited for Kayla, Emma and Madison than the family heirlooms themself.

Anna had been named as the beneficiary of Charles life insurance in the event of Charles’ demise and upon her death the money went to her estate.  A court appointed conservator had to be established for each of Charles and Anna’s three children to manage their inheritance until they turned 18.  Unfortunately, because Charles and Anna had not created a Last Will & Testament or Trust, there were no provisions as to how the money was to be spent or when.

Having a Trust in place for their children could have provided when and how their children’s inheritance was to be spent and what it was to be spent on, such as college, purchase of a new house, expenses of a wedding or any other cost as Charles and Anna would have deemed fit. 

Instead, when Kayla received her inheritance at 18, the money she should have had for college tuition she frivolously spent it on cars, friends and other fleeting extravagances.  When all was said and done, she had nothing to show for it.  Emma and Madison followed suit for the most part as well.  Although they did both obtain college degrees, they had to obtain significant student loans resulting in a quite a bit of debt to both of them.

Anna’s life insurance went to her mother as an alternate beneficiary because Charles was deceased.  The intention was that Anna’s mom would hold and distribute the insurance proceeds to Kayla, Emma and Madison for college tuition and give the girls the remaining proceeds when they were established and knew how to spend money properly. Things didn’t quite work out that way.  Anna’s mother died and her estate went into probate.  Part of the insurance proceeds was used to settle Anna’s mother’s debts.  The remaining insurance proceeds that was meant for Charles’ and Anna’s girls was split up among Anna’s siblings in accordance with Anna’s mother’s Last Will & Testament she had prepared when Anna was a young girl.  Anna’s mother had not updated her Last Will & Testament since before her grandchildren were born, and therefore the insurance proceeds split among Anna’s surviving siblings in accordance with Anna’s mother’s Last Will & Testament.  Kayla, Emma and Madison would never get a dime of Anna’s life insurance. 

Charles’ and Anna’s family, due to arguments over the custody of the children and division of property, are no longer on speaking terms with one another. 

So what are your excuses? No time? I don’t have the money? The “I’m too young” or “it will never happen to me” justification?  Or is it the “Oh, I will call tomorrow for information.”  Don’t wait….who knows what tomorrow holds…